The Sour Age

Week 1- Rankings and Predictions

January 24, 2009

By Jack Skunk

Hello everyone. Welcome back to another league. Let me start with a few predictions for the coming season: 1) The stacked team will win. 2) The Czar will create an incomprehensible tournament format. 3) The Lieutenant will send out WAY too many emails. Any questions? I didn’t think so.

Let’s go ahead and get rolling with some preseason rankings. I know we had a game last, but c’mon, it’s preseason and matters not. What does matter is from this week on, so let’s do it.

Jack’s Rankings:

1) “Gumdrops and Unicorns” (Navy)- This team was planning to fly under the radar, but I’m not having any of that. They’ve got some grade A talent (Justin, Tom, etc.) and no weak spots. They may not run the table, but they’ve got a shot.	2) Redrum (Red)- The reason I’m going with this team here is the speed and strength of the women. Did you know that Katelyn can play? Yeah, she’s a little weird, but she handles as well as anyone. And then, of course there’s the raw, bloody speed. Yummy!	3) Loose Change (Silver)- I admit it- they own this spot quite simply because of Jia and Palmer. They’re old(er) but still fast(er) than you. The only question then, is how deep are they? We’ll find out. Two guys usually aren’t enough to get to the promised land.	4) “Sugar Cookies” (Royal)- It’s impossible to not put this team in the top half, and honestly, they’re built to defeat Silver. With Surly and the Future, who can stop them? Like Silver though, I want to know how deep they are? All right Cap’n Bri: Coach them up!
5) “Care Bears” (Gold)- This team reminds me a lot of Navy, though off the top of my head, I don’t see too many tall people. The Bears are prepared to walk the disc up the field, but can they do “endless passes” that produce scores? By definition, no. But still, you’re alive and well… for now.	6) Black Tide (Black)- Showkiller put together a nice team last round- a team that was able to hide its flaws until the Semis. This time though, he has a bit more of a challenge. On the plus side though, he picked up THE Deanna. Has she lost a step? If I had money--- and I do!--- I’d say no. Look for the Tide to rise as the season flows.	7) “Blades of Grass” (Green)- Am I showing you guys disrespect by putting you here? Yes. Yes I am. The reason is that you seem to be loaded with those Finley players, and we all know what the “Finley Mentality” is… Wait- I don’t. However, I have good news. Word on the street says you have a somewhat healthy Brandon.	8) Dead Presidents (White)- Oh Lieutenant, how you have fallen. You’ve gone from first to worst, and it’s all because I say so. Let’s play the over/under game: White wins 2 games? UNDER!!!! UNDER!!! Sorry, but I calls it the ways I sees it.

Predictions:

Loose Change v. The Care Bears Initially, I was thinking that the Bears would have a chance, but now I just don’t think so. Plus, I saw TJ walking around trying to get sympathy from the ladies by wearing a sling. We’re on to you Captain TJ. Prediction: Loose Change by 4.	Dead Presidents v. Gum Drops and Unicorns I won’t say that the Presidents have no chance, but the deck is stacked against them. Like Green, they’re somewhat burdened with Finley types, and Christine can only do so much. Plus, I love Tiffany’s arm and her multiple targets. Prediction: Gum Drops and Unicorns by 6.
Redrum v. Sugar Cookies Again, I’m intimidated by that whole Stuart thing, but I think Redrum has what it takes to take care of business. They’ve got their shooter, their speedsters, and their handlers. As long as they don’t ignore the underneath and let the big boys poach all day, Redrum will be just fine. Prediction: Redrum by 2.	Black Tide v. Blades of Grass This should be a nice little match up, and could very well come down to the flip of a disc. We know that Showkiller has been emailing his team all week, but Marta is smarta, and will be prepared. Look for her to force backhand to force some of those lefties to whip out their weak flick. Am I right? Am I? Blades of Grass by 1.

That’s it, and I’ll see you on the field.