(Editor’s Note: An indignant Calvin has written his own predictions. Yes… It is the Calvin. Go here to read the entire article. His comparative picks are below Mr. Skunk’s.)

The Sour Age

Predictions

October 12, 2008

By Jack Skunk

Predictions in Glorious Techni-color!

Some of you may be wondering why the Czar brings me back year after year. The reason is simple: I can see the future- well technically, that’s not true- but I can see the future better than you. Let me explain: For you, you can guess, and it’s sort of like looking at a black and white TV from circa 1961. But for me, I can see the future in glorious Techni-Color, which was clearly a triumph for the human condition. I know- there’s a fair chance that I won’t be perfect, but I can guarantee this: I’ll do better than you.

To prove this, I’m going to bring in a guest picker. This week’s opponent will be the slightly indignant, and bizarre Calvin.

No Fear (Royal) v The Keating 13/Jade Tiger (Green)

If you know nothing else about me, know this: I love trends and the whole right track/wrong track thing. Nothing else matters, other than the fact that K13 is coming off a crushing loss. Sure, No Fear won, but it matters not. What matters is K13’s mindset, and it reads something like this: “Wah. We’re going to lose. We’re afraid. Brodie is on that team, even if he only plays for 2 points. Wah.” Yeah, this is an easy call. Obiwan can’t save you this time, Princess. No Fear easily scales K13.

Jack’s pick: No Fear by 6.

Calvin’s pick: No Fear by 9.

Big Fun Colts (Black) v The Golden Girls (Gold)

Trends for this game won’t help, since both squads lost last week, and both have been underperforming. Still, it looks to me like BFC has too much firepower to blow this one. Now granted, I know that the cupboard of the Golden Girl’s isn’t bare, but they just won’t have enough. In a closer one than even I’d expect, the Golden Girl’s will get bucked by the BFC.

Jack’s Pick: BFC by 3.

Calvin’s Pick: BFC by 1

My Bloody Valentine (Red) v the 7 Seas (Navy)

There have already been some complaints that Valentine is stacked, but that won’t be the reason they win. Instead, it’s all about the unnamed Navy squad. You see, they have a character issue, as in, they have none. After jumping on top of the white team last week, they laid it down, and snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Plus, Valentine is pretty good. Look for MBV to show no love for the hapless 7 Seas.

Jack’s pick: My Bloody Valentine by 4.

Calvin’s Pick: MBV by 7

4 (White) v Hell’s Bells (Silver)

This, my dear friends, is the game of the week, and even with my precision, glorious techni-color, I’m having trouble getting a clear signal. Both teams are solid, and I have no doubt that this game will be decided on Universe point. Still, there’s no need to guess. As a matter of fact, the outcome is downright obvious, and the reason is simple: Hell’s Bells are light on handlers, whereas the 4s are not. In a very close one, the Bells will get a teeny-tiny crack.

Jack’s pick: 4 by 1.

Calvin’s pick: Hell’s Bells by 5

Ok- those are the picks. If you have any questions, contact the Czar, because clearly, he is not Jack Skunk (wink, wink). I’ll see you on the field.